My Two Cents: A Southern Gentleman's Take

Dear Southern, non-racist White People:

How y'all doin'?  Been a rough couple of days. Let's talk Confederate statues for a second. I'm a black man who is proudly, unapologetically of and from The South. (You know my roots are southern, in part, because I know where to place the apostrophe in "y'all".)

One of the great things about being a black man in The South, in addition to the abundance of white women who feel guilty about their ancestry and / or want to get back at their parents (Obama almost killed that; Trump brought it roaring back.) , is the fact that I never have to explain the confederacy; be it flags or statues. Though the Civil War was a long time ago, people just assume what side I would've been on. Y'all aren't offered that same courtesy. Let's be honest, not everyone can be related to the one white family that either didn't own slaves or treated their slaves well. Shirley Temple's bloodline only runs so deep. [Editor's Note: Yes, I know not all white people owned slaves. I know my history. I saw "Free State of Jones". All white people wanted to own slaves, they just couldn't all afford it...Again, kidding?]

"Damion, this is all (very?) interesting," you might be saying. "But where is this going?"  Here's where this is going:  I understand the need to know your history; I understand not sweeping your bad acts under the rug; but you don't let those bad acts define you, and you certainly don't celebrate them.  (In case I've lost you, the "you" is The South and "bad acts" refers to "The Confederacy" and "Slavery".  All caught up?  Good. I shall now continue.)  The Confederacy happened in The South, Slavery happened in The South, but neither of those things define The South.  As all bad acts, those things should bring a sincere sense of shame and leave a pit in your stomach.  They should not elicit a sense of pride.  And the truth is, in most people, they don't.  If they did, there wouldn't have been such a concerted, institutionalized effort within The South to soften or change that part of history.  So, are confederate monuments / statues an acknowledgment of that time in history or a celebration of it?  To me, the answer is simple: forget what it's called "monument" vs "statue"; forget, for a moment, the intent behind it; then ask yourself, "How does it make most people feel?".  When you go to a Holocaust Museum or a Slave Museum, you leave feeling disgust and that the images and artifacts you viewed speak to a time that can never be allowed to happen again.  When you drive, walk, or run down Monument Avenue in Richmond, Virgina, for example, how do you feel?  Do you feel pride, a sense of wonder at all the majestic statues, or, worse, do you feel nothing at all.  If any of those things describe your feelings (or lack thereof), then it's not about "knowing your history"; it's about denying it.

Here are just a few reasons I love The South:

1. The accent.  There is nothing quite as pleasant as a southern accent.  (As with the British accent, there are some pockets which grate the ears, but, overall...)
2. Hidden slights.  Southerners can insult people in such a way that, not only does the target of said insult not get angry, but they thank you for it.
3. Sweet tea.  There are places in America (America!) where you cannot get a sweet tea.  There are even some places, places whose name I dare not utter (I'm looking at you Southern California), where they will hand you a Snapple...A SNAPPLE!!!
4. Fried chicken
5. Barbecue
6. Hushpuppies
7. Chicken and dumplings
8. Grits (I'm getting hungry. Need to change stride.)
9. Foghorn Leghorn
10. Country music
11. The outfits (cut-off jean shorts, cowboy boots, white or plaid shirt tied in a bow, cowboy hat...yessir) [This is for women only]
12. The Blues (Of course, the reason for the blues isn't to be celebrated, but...lemonade, which brings me to the next thing)
13. Lemonade
14. Moonshine. I don't drink, but I love the outlaw history of moonshine and how it led to NASCAR.
15. Easy-going, relaxing way of Life
16. Neighborly
17. Backroads
18. We're not Yankees

There's no denying what The South once was and, in some people's hearts, still is.  There may be people in your bloodline who carried out heinous acts, but their acts don't make you a bad person and making them into heroes doesn't make you one.  The Confederacy doesn't define The South. Don't let it define you.